February 2012
1 tag
just one more beer can solve just about anything
Feb 11th
1 note
ListenMonikers - 80 Proof
Feb 11th
Vet: Don't worry. Rat lice are species specific. You can't get them.
My brain: SHE'S LYING. STERILIZE YOUR ENTIRE APARTMENT.
Feb 10th
2 notes
cedric and cyril have lice. darwin does not. favorite rat forever.
Feb 10th
Feb 10th
34 notes
Josh: When I go crazy and start blowing up buildings, YOU'LL BE BY MY SIDE RIGHT LINT
Lint: holding the gas can
Josh: Yeees
Josh: You'll be my Harley Quinn
Feb 9th
two sick and needy rats out of three. no idea what’s wrong with cedric. going to the vet tomorrow even though i can’t afford it at all. paranoid of parasites. WHY AM I SO ITCHY? gotta sterilize everything even though i’m so exhausted i barely know where i am. about to burst into tears. fuck my whole entire life.
Feb 9th
1 tag
Things I need to do tomorrow: Apply for a million jobs Go to the post office Wash the dishes Get my hair cut Things I will probably do tomorrow: Sleep until noon Watch an entire season of Home Movies Dirty up even more dishes Go back to bed
Feb 9th
ALMOST. THIRTY.
Lint: WHO FUCKS CYCLOPS WHEN THEY COULD HAVE WOLVERINE????
Josh: Nooo idea. Maybe Jean just has a low self esteem because she can hear what everybody says about her
Josh: And then Cyclops comes along, and he's thinking about lasers and turtles
Feb 9th
1 note
1 tag
“You’re Canadian and as hairy as a lumberjack.”
– Josh on why I’d be Wolverine if I were a member of the X-Men
Feb 9th
Today my 45-year-old aunt showed me her new piercing. That she did herself. While drunk. With a darning needle. Intentionally. Through her hand. Through her hand.
Feb 9th
2 notes
Feb 8th
3 notes
Trying to raise some hard love
WE ARE STARTING TO PLANT SHIT FOR THE FOOD GARDEN TODAY. STOKED.
Feb 8th
2 tags
For the past two weeks I’ve been reading really good books that people I actually like have lent or recommended to me. The hours spent engrossed in those suckers have been the bright spots in my otherwise abysmal days. It sort of makes me feel like I’m time traveling to whenever the lender first read the book themselves and experiencing it with them. It also makes work go by faster...
Feb 8th
1 note
They told me I could be somebody if I didn’t let too much get in my way. And I tried so hard just to be myself but I keep on fading away.
Feb 8th
2 tags
Feb 6th
54 notes
1 tag
Feb 6th
8 notes
EVERYONE IS THE WORST TODAY.
Feb 6th
1 note
1 tag
Super looking forward to unemployment next month
Customer: Can you send one of your cabs to the big black dump truck in the A&W parking lot to come get my laundry, then bring it to the laundromat and back to me when it's done?
Me: Uh. We're a cab company. We don't do that.
Customer: Why are you being so ignorant, dear?
Feb 5th
1 note
Feb 4th
1,141 notes
To-do list:
Steal military equipment Mix record in Oslo Discover fire
Feb 4th
2 notes
1 tag
feeling too unhealthy to make food. hello icecream for dinner.
Feb 4th
1 tag
“Fuck, I hate myself. But god, I love this person who is exactly like me”
– Lint and Me, when thinking about Me and Lint (via joemoeschmoe)
Feb 3rd
1 note
Feb 3rd
2 notes
2 tags
Angry Boner Face
Josh: Maybe
Josh: You can
Josh: Sexy frown
Josh: Like
Josh: Michelle Obama
Feb 3rd
2 notes
1 tag
I wish I had normal allergies instead of the kind that make me feel like I’ve been kicked in the face and left in a riverbed overnight
Feb 3rd
thirdbeatred replied to your post: YOU SHOULD BE MY BOYFRIEND OK FINALLY
Feb 2nd
2 notes
1 tag
YOU SHOULD BE MY BOYFRIEND
Feb 1st
1 note
January 2012
“You’re not disgusting, you just appreciate disgusting people.”
– Jaime
Jan 29th
1 note
Angry boner face
Been doing a lot of that lately
Jan 29th
2 notes
Jan 28th
2 notes
1 tag
K8: I JUST FOUND OUT
K8: MY GRANDFATHER ALMOST KILLED A CAT BY GIVING IT WEED
K8: FOR SCIENCE
Jan 27th
thirdbeatred asked: hey remember that time we mixed our record in oslo?
Jan 27th
1 note
Okay Tumblr it’s your turn to tell me what to read next. Go go go!
Jan 27th
1 note
Jan 26th
420 notes
Man I have a lot of shit to do
Better eat everything while watching terrible television.
Jan 26th
1 note
Jan 24th
7 notes
Jan 23rd
4 notes
“Well I have 46 morphine pills in the cupboard then…”
– my grandma when I declined the Tylenol with codeine she offered me
Jan 23rd
3 notes
1 tag
the power was out at work today which meant the heat was out which means my back hurts so fucking much right now that i want to cry while stabbing everyone and i just want something nice to happen but it won’t because why would it
Jan 23rd
1 note
1 tag
Jan 23rd
6,925 notes
“I think eating my feelings would involve eating Flaming Hot Cheetos. Because my...”
– Gary
Jan 21st
2 notes
Note to self:
Stop forgetting to eat regularly. You’re supposed to be an adult, not constantly on the verge of passing out. You dildobrain.
Jan 21st
2 notes
Jan 20th
1 note
2 tags
“i got the fever! asshole fever!”
– jaime chainsaw
Jan 20th
3 notes
Gary hasn't slept
Gary: pie charts in the shape of a butt
Gary: or bar graphs made of dongs with buttholes at the top
Jan 19th
2 notes
“Leave your family, abandon your children, touch yourself, you know you want it.”
– Anthony Bourdain
Jan 18th
1 note
1 tag
Jan 18th
3 notes
1 tag
pretty sure most if not all of the objects of my boneration are onto me. what an unfortunate thing to happen to someone with a face like mine. mothers (of 20-something-year-old dirtbags), hide your sons. unless you want them to be made to feel super uncomfortable.
Jan 17th
1 note
1 tag
“If I have to stand up, things are going to kick off around here.”
– Sue White (Green Wing)
Jan 14th
1 note